#So this is really more for myself than anyone else

[zephyrchama]

Consider: Barbatos opening portals to MC’s room in his sleep.

He can try and conceal his feelings all he wants during the daytime. Even the strongest demons can’t lie to themselves for long.

It began as quite the embarrassing predicament. You’d never seen Barbatos so flushed. You both exchanged puzzled expressions from opposite sides of a portal in the dead of night, dressed in sleepwear, too astonished for words. As suddenly as it appeared, the portal closed, leaving you to wonder if it was a dream.

Barbatos’ profuse apologies the next day proved that it wasn’t. You insisted it was okay, accidents happen, and begged him not to prostrate himself on the ground in front of you when he started to kneel. He vowed to make it up to you in some way. Any way within his power.

The second time it happened, he was angry. The two of you were startled awake at roughly the same time and the butler had to suppress a groan.

“It is most unbecoming of me to repeatedly invade your privacy in this way.” His eyes were narrowed with fury. He spoke through clenched teeth. These lapses in control really took a mental toll. “Disgraceful, even. Please excuse me.”

You wondered if this happened more than twice and Barbatos just covered it up. At times, he acted more protective of your dignity than anyone else.

“Glad to see you taking a break for once,” you joked, but the portal had already closed again. You stared at the space it once occupied until you fell back asleep.

The occurrences began ramping up. From once per month, to once per week, to every couple of days. As time passed, Barbatos’ disgruntled annoyance at himself turned into resigned acceptance. “I never took myself to be this kind of man,” he shamefully confided to you one day. “As you know, my restraint is typically excellent.” 

You peered at him over the pillows. It looked as though the two of you were laying next to each other despite being in different buildings. “Maybe you’re stressed? Have you been working too much?”

“I doubt that’s the case. I would gladly do more if it benefited the Young Master. But, ah... I’ve kept you up for too long, haven’t I?” Barbatos smiled your way. “Sweet dreams.”

With your nightly meetings becoming an almost everyday occurrence, there would be rare times Barbatos didn’t immediately wake up. In sleep, his magic was as strong as ever, if a smidge less coordinated. The portal frame would wobble or randomly change size. Sometimes it appeared above your pillow. Sometimes you wondered if it was stable enough to move through, to reach an arm over and pat Barbatos on the head. Though, in the end you always figured it was best to let sleeping demons lay.

Even if he does it to you when you’re asleep.

[k1tty5]

I would like to make it clear that I do NOT want anyone’s firstborns, but I will ramble. for you.

rambles about the process and other thoughts under the cut! I talk a LOT, so… view at your own risk?

I originally had this idea a couple months ago, I think when I first heard the song. I had made a little test for it, which I didn’t end up doing anything with because I thought it didn’t really make much sense. Which, I’m not sure I did that great of a job making this make sense, but you know. Whatever.

this is the original drawing i made for it back in early august, very rushed and not a big fan of it.

I liked the black background & grayscale palette, as well as the way the string kind of . Twirls around the text? BUT, I went into this without any planning, mostly just me doodling and then threw the lyrics on for fun. No plot or whatever, very short.

After I made this, I was kind of just keeping this idea in mind for later, but I held back on trying to do it as I just wasn’t really sure where I wanted to go with it. I’m very bad at planning and tend to rush into things a lot, which ends up hindering the quality of a lot of my art. and since this was something I actually liked the idea of, I wanted to give it my all.

There was also the fact that because I liked the idea, I wanted the best outcome. This kind of ends up in a sort of paralysis where I don’t want to work on something because I’m not good enough for it, but I did realize that I will likely never consider myself good enough for it, so why not just go for it?

Anyway ,

I did not end up keeping the black background for the reason that I decided that this time around I wanted it to have a more traditional vibe/look? Like perhaps it was scrawled over some roughed up paper, hence the sketchy style and limited palette.

And as for why I didn’t keep the string looping around the pages, I just thought that would add too much red to the pages, sort of ruining the vibe. So I instead just kept it inside the panels!

these are the original thumbnails/sketches! most of them I kept the same, but I did end up pretty much entirely changing the third page, because I decided there was already too many panels of just their faces with somewhat unsettled expressions .

thoughts on individual pages - don’t expect me to be organized or this to be well thought out, by the way,,

on page 1 ,

I started with a shot of the relationship, mostly to just… set the scene. I am NOT an expert on comics, and went into this with very minimal planning, so this work in general is more of the vibes than it is a storyline, but I did try to vaguely get it to resemble something comprehensible.

the second panel of Etho brushing Joel’s cheek is very much no thoughts for me lol, not very happy with how it looks. I do picture Etho as the more openly affectionate one (though i can see it both ways). BUT, to match with the lyrics, you could say that the first panel paired with “it’s hard to tell which elements of this are real” could be resembling that the boat is something tangible and physical, whereas the second panel paired with “and which are chemically enhanced” is referring to whatever feelings they have. Asking themselves if this is really real, or if it’s just the game.

no notes on the third panel lol. like i say this was not well thought out, the story is somewhat there, but it’s VERY much up to interpretation and I did intend it to be that way. I have ideas about what is happening, but I want to keep it up to the viewer.

on page 2,

“But it’s not easy to tell what I want from what I need” OH BOY !!! manic red joel. blinded by the bloodlust and rage and adrenaline. he needs this. he needs it, doesn’t he?

“I am more scared of myself than I am of anyone else” okay okay okay. I don’t headcanon he has any real remorse for killing anyone. this is a death game, you’re not meant to be a good person, this is built on lies and manipulation and blood and hurt. headcanon they’re all insane people doing bad things (with a forced hand or not). BUT !!! big fan of “i break everything i touch” kind of thing (its kind of a pattern in ships i like OOPS). so much angst. regretful of your violent nature, wishing to be gentler so that you can cradle his face without digging your nails into his skin, unwanting to break the only thing you’ve learnt to love.

but. etho doesn’t care !!! he doesnt care. his hands are just as bloody as yours, don’t you see?

on page 3,

panel one is just a continuation of the last scene which i just talked about blah blah blah

panel 2!! thats a portal. we all know what happened in the portal :)

on page 4.

ending the mini comic thing with the ship burning, while it started with a shot of the ship in its prime. before and after, how it started and how it ended.

all in all, I !! AM !!! INSANE!!! about them. I could ramble for hours probably but this is already long so ending with a couple final thoughts.

this is definitely meant to be set after they’ve gone red, when in that timeframe is up to you, though. in my vision the lyrics are kind of correlating to c!joel’s thoughts/feelings/whatevers, but it can definitely go both ways - or neither way lol. This song is really just like. THEM. To me.

anywho, thank you to anyone who has put the augh’s and ough’s in the tags, they’re very gratifying haha <3

the simplest words

[kavlitzlver]

2007 tom and f!reader go to the same school blah blah blah and then they do it in a classroom when the classes are over OR hcs about how they go to the same school both sfw and nsfw thank u

OKAY I LOVE THIS IDEA i can work with this, just hope you like it <33

be quiet.

Tom Kaulitz x Fem!reader

summary: You and Tom go to the same school together and secretly have been friends with benefits for quite some time now, neither of your other band members or anyone else at school knows, but seeing each other in school all the time and not fuck is harder than you both thought….

warnings : rough sex, p in v sex, fingering, oral sex

——————————————————

I feel his hand on my lap, slowly moving towards my inner thigh, his thumb stroking the soft skin of my legs that peeked through the tight black skirt I was wearing. “Tom..” I mumble as i nudge him, he grinned at my widened eyes as i scanned the room for any curious looks from our classmates, scared that someone might notice. It was so weird that no one noticed the looks Tom and I gave each other recently, how we behaved less like best friends but more like a couple, I feel like he didn’t even notice it himself. We’ve been sleeping with each other for a few months now, one day he’s my best friend and we’re goofing around like always, the next his hand is wrapped around my neck while he’s deep inside me. It was confusing.

“Been too long y/n….need you” he whispered into my ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine, those words alone were enough to just take him right here and there, to send me over the edge in the middle of class.

“After school ‘kay?” I take his hand and place it back down on the table, nudging him in the shoulder “We’re in the middle of-“

“Y/n. Might wanna share what you and Tom are talking about? Sounds interesting” the teacher interrupted us, making me flinch away from him, I shook my head and focussed back on the lesson. I saw Bill turning around to us and giving me a silly look, I knew that he knew something was going on, it was Bill, he sensed those things. “After school at my place.” I say to Tom, not even looking at him when I felt his hand back on my thigh, he was so needy, so horny, all the damn time, I cross my legs, automatically making it impossible for him to arouse me, I could hear his sigh as he tried to focus back on the lesson.

—————————————————

Math class was over, I started packing up my stuff and was about to leave the room when I felt a tight grip around my waist. “Wait a sec.” Tom smirked, pulling me back to our seats, “Lets skip Biology hm?” he had that lustful grin on his face, his hands tightened, his tongue playing with his lip ring, I couldn’t say no, not to this look, not to him staring me up and down like that. “Can’t wait till after school..”

“You guys coming?” Bill stopped mid way, looking at us with crossed arms and raised eyebrows, i clear my throat. “Go ahead, we skip” Tom responded in a confident voice, knowing Bill would never skip a class in the last week of school. Bill nodded disappointedly, heading outside the classroom with Georg and Gustav, who looked just as confused.

I watched as Tom walked to the entry of the room, closing the door and locking it after making sure no one had seen us. I was taking off my jacket when I felt his two warm hands on my waist, his fingers digging into my soft skin, pulling me back in a swift motion, he presses me close to him, showing me how hard he is as he started kissing my neck. I was tense, unsure if that was really a good idea, wouldn’t we get in huge trouble when someone catches us?

“Tom I-“ he turns me around in a quick motion, my words being interrupted by a rough kiss, his hands wandered down to my thighs, gripping my legs and lifting me up on one of the tables. “You look so good in that skirt…so fucking good” his raspy whisper send shivers down my spine, he groaned into my neck as he grinder against my core through the soft material of my skirt. I let myself fall into the moment, shaking off every concern I had when I found my way into his jeans, unbuttoning them with the other and taking out the belt through the loops in a rough motion, throwing it somewhere on the floor.

The grin on his face as I started to slowly run my fingers along his length was unbearable, the way his eyes turned so lustful, he was making me insane, I get a hold onto his cock and start moving my hand back and forth, causing his grin to turn into a gasp, his head leaned back.

I take his pants off, letting them pool at his feet when I get off the table and down on my knees, my hands placed on his waist, my tongue liking the tip before I almost swallow him whole, the room now filled with his groans as he grabbed my hair into a ponytail. His moans like music to my ears, a grin formed on my face as I saw the pleasure I caused him. “Fuck…..”

“Get up….need to hurry baby” I shivered when he called me that, he never did before, I do as he said and sat back down on the table, i didn’t even bother taking of my skirt when Toms finger already played with the thin material of my panties, pulling them to the side and entering his middle finger into me in a swift motion, leaving me a moaning mess. He curled his finger just the right way to hit my g spot, his dreads falling into my face as he sucked on the soft skin of my neck, leaving marks just as always.

“Tom we need to hurry…” Moans cut off my speech, he nodded and exited my core, a gasp leaving my mouth as he licked my juices off his finger, positioning himself before my entrance. He entered me roughly, his hands on my waist as he pushed into me hard, not even stopping so I could adjust. “just like that..” he groaned, digging his fingers into my flesh. He quickened his pace even more, mouth open as he moaned in pleasure, his heartbeat racing just as mine as he kissed me roughly, his tongue intertwining with mine. I broke the kiss as i couldn’t contain my whimpers, sensing that i’m close to reaching my peak, “gonna cum..”

“I’m not done.” he grabbed me by my neck with one hand, the other now found a way under my skirt, his thumb circling around my clit when my legs began to tense, a satisfied smirk resting on his face as he witnessed the effect he had on me. My eyes were shut, mouth open as one moan escaped after the other when suddenly we heard someone trying to open the door.

Tom stayed inside me, but slowed down his movements as he continued to move in and out, his hand now roughly placed on my mouth to stop me from moaning. It seemed like whoever wanted to enter was now gone and Tom quickened up his pace again, rubbing my clit with his thumb and buttoning me completely until I was a moaning mess and reached my high. Tom was near the end too when his movements became sloppier and he finally released himself.

“Good girl…so…so good” he mumbled as our foreheads touched, “mhm…” i nod trying to catch my breath. I watched as Tom put his pants back on, handing me a paper towel to clean myself up before he kissed my neck one last time. He brushed my hair behind my back when a grin appeared on his face “hickeys look good on you.” I slapped him on the shoulder, my hand immediately on my neck when I ran to the mirror in the front of the classroom.

“I told you to stop doing that”

He opened the classroom door, completely ignoring my complain, “let’s go…before someone sees us”

——————————————————

Tom and I waited outside the school for the rest, seeing Bill, Georg and Gustav walk out the door, laughing about something.

“You guys wouldn’t believe what Sophie heard in one of the classrooms-“ I looked at Gustav with raised eyebrows, “Two people were having sex in the last lesson!” Georg continued where Gustav started, laughing his ass off just like the rest when Tom gave me a playful look, smirking at me. I faked my reaction, gasping when I kicked Tom in the chest.

“What?! Who would do that?!”

“Someone like Tom would…” Bill winked at his twin, I was right, he definitely knew.

[inuxi]

that ask was rude of me, i should've just blocked you instead of telling you about it, i'm sorry. i'm aroace and sex+romance repulsed, and i guess i thought alastor was gonna be something i could enjoy for once like everyone else gets to without feeling like i'm intruding on a conversation i have no right to be part of. i'm on ios so i can't use browser extensions to actually get rid of all the alastor ship posts like i want, and i'm not sure my problem even has a solution short of just giving up trying, because so far i have found exactly zero blogs that are 1.) still active at all, 2.) still post about Hazbin, 3.) aren't actually 12 years old, and 4.) don't post about fucking Alastor ships. i got so excited seeing such good, recent art i haven't nuked yet considering how old every other post i can still see is, and i'm not kidding when i say i sent that ask through tears. it was rude and unacceptable either way, and i'm sorry.

i've blocked over 200 different people and i'm not exaggerating that number even a little bit. i would rather put a gun to my head and pull the trigger myself than see them so much as breathe next to each other ever again. i am so. so so so so so sick of searching and searching and searching and finding nothing.

the thing i've learned from alastor's aroace representation is that not only is the world as a whole not made to accommodate me, fandom space isn't either. i am an alien on a planet i was never made to fit into, and i don't even get to escape that through fiction like everyone else does. no amount of filtering and blocking and searching will bring into existence a community for me that simply does not exist, and it is futile for me to try. that's what this fandom has taught me.

i think the chances of me sticking around in this fandom are slim, so at least it won't be an issue for anyone else anymore. i think being excluded from conversations about an aroace character sting a lot more than just not being represented at all to be honest.

Okay, listen.

First of all, Alastor is officially an Ace, NOT an aroace. That means he can still be interested in any romantic things or finding a couple. No one is stopping you from seeing him exclusively as an aroace. But shaming people who don't share your point of view is a bad idea.

Secondly, I am an aroace artist myself. Romantic and sexual themes are virtually non-existent in my art. I can joke about it, but almost all of my drawings explore completely different things. And you come to me and try to talk about how hard it is to feel socially comfortable being an aroace? I understand your worries, but, again, trying to shame other people because they don't share your point of view is NOT a healthy coping mechanism.

Third, I have done THREE drawings in all my time that include a romanticized Alastor. Two of them were collabs, and the third was asked to be drawn by people. And these three drawings made you give up on my art, which you said you really liked?

The community is too heavily oriented towards romantic and sexual themes, it's true. People like us are often uncomfortable in that environment, that's also true. But aroace people can't just come in and ban others from having fun just because we don't find that fun or interesting.

Man, I'm not even Alastor's artist! What the kind of Alastor shipper am I? And you picked me out of a thousand people to block? Oh my God, that's as funny as it is sad.

In case you haven't looked at my art, I am a Lucifer artist. I very rarely draw Alastor, simply because I don't find him interesting enough. And because of that, I find it so funny to be labeled an “Alastor shipper”

[whorrorbvby]

an update:

hey friends a lot of people have been asking where ive been on other socials and im sorry for being m.i.a and ignoring everyone’s worries. im not getting into it right now and i dont know if i want to talk about the details publicly. 

i deleted tumblr from my phone about two and a half weeks ago and ive had a friend keeping a queue going on main for me. it might be that way permanently now i don’t know. I don’t know that I want to come back to tumblr if im being honest. a lot of things happened and i just can’t handle seeing certain people anymore so i’ve been hanging out on two of the more safer socials where tumblr people people generally leave me alone. not that im upset with you any of you or anything it’s more of a personal relationship and it just turned me off of basically everything and i just can’t handle a lot right now.  

i didn’t want to stop posting my own content for obvious reasons but i really can’t bring myself to come back it’s too hard and my heart can’t handle it right now. i also haven’t taken any new photos or anything and as of right now i don’t really feel super comfortable in sharing my body in that way. situations have made me feel disgusting as a person and i can’t look at myself. im trying to post more on ig to boost myself back up but i don’t know my self image is kind of ruined now. plus i’ve lost 15lbs from stress and inability to eat because of it and with how many people already harass and bully me for how scrawny i am i don’t want to subject myself in my current mental state to even the possibility of anyone saying anything. 

but like i said i have a friend running main for me and i might have them run this account too and my pepper page just because i do want to go back to making content i just dont know if i can handle posting or being in certain spaces right now. 

on top of what im currently dealing with in my personal life this is just a really hard time for me in general because of the holiday season and close to the anniversary of my best friends death so i tend to shut down a little anyway it’s just my entire world came crashing down again and im honestly starting to give up on even existing. i know im being melodramatic and i need to suck it up and just go back to status quo it’s just really hard this time and i cant force myself into a positive headspace like i used to even for a second. i have honestly never felt this empty and i barely know who i am or what my worth is anymore. 

i dont know if i’ll turn my asks back on. my friend offered to answer anything for me but its better for my mental health if i dont because i know people will ask questions and i dont trust myself to not completely go off on a tangent. im sorry i know im rambling but i feel like a proper update with zero room for misunderstanding is needed and i dont want to sugarcoat or lie to any of you to make myself seem or feel better cuz i respect the hell out of you guys and you deserve honesty if for nothing else. and i appreciate so fucking much you all continuing to support me and hype me up through all the bullshit life keeps throwing at me. 

im mostly on ig and threads right now and on threads im talking about games and movies with new people im meeting and it’s been really helping through shit. if you follow me on snap you saw me say im thinking about deleting everything. my accounts are still up and as long as my friend still wants to help me out i’ll at least have a queue running on main but i’ve deleted every social app other than ig and threads. i wholeheartedly planned on deleting snap last night but it’s the only way some of you get any updates from me so for now i wont delete it but i might make a new one instead just to get away from situations that are bringing me down. we’ll see. if I make a new snap i’ll post it everywhere n put it in my bios. that being said i don’t have a private/nsfw snap and i wont make one im sorry. i still wont sell content outside of what i post on peppers and i wont do customs im sorry. maybe in the future but right now i need to focus on myself and getting out of this headspace before i do anything else. 

but truly thank you for sticking with me and just genuinely being the best crew around. i promise to try my best to get out of this mess of a headspace im in as quickly as possible and im really sorry for basically abandoning everything again but i really am hopeful for the future and just trying to focus on myself and my happiness at the moment 🙏🏻🧡

[ghouljams]

how does one become free of insecurity? i’m already doing therapy but i feel i’ve only moved away from hating myself so much i want to d*e into just thinking everyone’s better than me

It's a long journey, but well worth it.

I don't think anyone is ever truly free of insecurity, but I think there's also a lot that is unpacked simply through the language we use to describe ourselves and the jokes we allow other people to make at our expense.

Therapy is great at helping you deal with the big feelings, but sometimes little things get caught in your head and it's hard to shake them. Here are some things that I do to keep myself feeling good, and also some things that I'm working on:

No suicide jokes. I make it a point never to joke about "oh I'll just kill myself" or anything like that because ultimately it just makes me feel worse and nobody finds it funny. It's also a good way to change your thinking and direct your solution brain away from "I'll just end things when shit gets hard." This one is a constant battle.

I compliment myself whenever I have the chance. I take every compliment someone gives me. I pretend to be vapid and self-absorbed. I make kissy faces at myself in the mirror. I tell other people how pretty I am, and I don't fucking care if they think I'm a stupid bimbo because I'm trying to love myself and that's more important.

Being kinder to my younger self. This one feels weird but I found myself being mean to little Ghoul when I was really sad. It feels easy to take out your anger on a kid that didn't know any better, and it doesn't guilt you because that's you that you're hating. But look. You were just a kid. You weren't stupid or ugly or unlovable or evil, you were a kid. I just caught myself calling my teenage self ugly the other day on my way to visit my mom and I had to stop and go "why am I saying this? I was just a kid." And it made me cry a li'l bit ngl, but if felt... idk it felt good in a way.

Don't let fucking anyone tell you, you're not worth it. Does your friend make jokes about how dumb you are? Or how you're so cringey? Or so embarrassing or bad at something or forgetful or WHATEVER? Yeah, fuck that noise. Tell them to stop doing that. Tell them it hurts your feelings and if they still don't stop they aren't your friend, they're your bully. I fucking hate bullies. Don't let anyone talk down to you, I don't care if it was a joke at first, it's not funny anymore. Fuck them.

This is something I'm working on, but when you start fixing one insecurity another will probably pop up. I've been working for a long time on liking how I look, and it's gone really well. But now I'm insecure about my intelligence. So I have to stop myself from calling myself stupid or not answering questions. I just fucking rocked my work trivia party, and Mr. Ghoul thinks I'm smart, so I just gotta keep track of my wins. Sometimes you realize that making yourself secure in one thing makes you insecure about another, but that's ok! There's a learning curve to all of this.

Everyone thinks everyone else is better than them. You don't have to be the best at everything, you don't even have to be the best at one thing! What's important is that you're doing your best. People notice when you're working hard, even if you're not churning out the best product because it means you care about it. Which brings me to

Done is better than perfect. Sure it would be great if you were God's most specialist soldier, but think about how much work that would be! Ok so you're not the world's best knitter, but the scarf you made your friend is their favorite scarf anyway because you made it. So you're not a world class writer, but you had a story in your head and you wrote it down. That's better than it never being written at all. Also just because you think it's bad doesn't mean other people won't think it's a masterpiece. Hell, half of the fics I wrote when I first started this blog I could write better now but that doesn't make them bad, it just means I've gotten better.

We as humans are constantly improving and evolving. Don't let who you are no stop you from striving towards who you'll be in the future. Taking one step down the path towards loving yourself is better than giving up and hating yourself forever. It's slow going, but man I've been doing this shit for a decade and I'm so much happier than I was at 18.

You might think that the more you improve the harder and faller you'll fall back to the bottom, but the lows don't get that low again. You're doing great. I'm proud of you.

[rekino2114]

I think you might like this since it's Chainsaw Man's best stoic girl Fami~, where Asa and Yoru first meet Fami's boyfriend. They think he's just some random bystander or classmate who overheard their conversation, which could mean trouble when all of a sudden Fami kisses him and introduces him.

Asa and yoru meeting fami's boyfriend

"Do you always eat alone?"

"Yes"

"Every day i discover you're even more pathetic than i thought, how is that even possible?"

"Shut up"

"No it's so boring here"

"I don't care, just shut up, we're in public. What are people gonna think if they see me talk to myself?"

"To be honest, you definitely seem like the type to talk to yourself"

"............"

"Just chill out even if someone overhears us. I'll take care of them, I haven't gotten a new weapon in a while now that I think about it"

"You are not killing anyone of my classmates"

Just as yoru was about to answer asa saw a boy getting closer to her

"Oh hey, you're asa mitaka, right? My girlfriend said I had to meet with you"

"Uh yeah, but are you sure she's talking about me? I'm not.......really friends with anyone"

"Oh no, yeah, it is you. Well, I guess it's yoru, but you know-"

"WHAT?!"

"H-he knows about me?"

"Do you-do you know him?"

"Of course not, how the hell would I? Just let me out so I can kill him"

"N-no we're in-"

"Sorry if I'm late"

You and asa both turned to see fami sitting at the table with a giant plate of food in front of her

"F-fami? What is she-"

"Oh hi babe"

You got closer to her lips as she kissed you. It lasted only for a few seconds, but like all of fami's kisses, it was wonderful.

"YOU'RE DATING!?"

"W-what's happening?"

"asa, can you let war out, I want to have this conversation with her"

"Yes, thank you, I really don't wanna see how this goes. Just stop her if she tries to kill someone"

Fami nodded as Asa fell unconscious. After a bit scars appeared on her face, and when she opened her eyes, they were yellow and ringed, just like fami, yoru immediately started glaring at you and your girlfriend who was just eating looking as unbothered as ever

"OK what's this about? Why the hell did you tell a human about me?"

"He's my boyfriend"

"So?"

"I've heard it's polite to introduce your lover to your family, y/n has already done it, so now it's my turn. He already met control and she liked him so I wanted him to meet you too"

"Pfft as if I care about your stupid boyfriend, you seriously revealed my identity to a random guy just cause you liked him?"

Hearing those words fami stopped eating and looked at yoru, her cold eyes making the war devil feel a bit uneasy

"Apologize"

"H-hm?"

"Apologize to y/n for what you said"

"O-oh no fami it's fine"

"Don't worry, as the older sister, it's my duty to discipline her, now apologize"

"F-fine ok geez, I'm sorry"

"Good"

You smiled and mentally thanked fami. To try and start again, you held your hand out to her sister

"Thanks it's nice to meet you by the-"

"I suggest you don't shake my hand, unless you wanna be turned into a weapon that is, not that I would mind"

Just as she finished that sentence yoru felt those cold eyes stare at her again, making her sweat a bit. She shook your hand reluctantly

"Hey y/n, do you mind grabbing me another plate of pasta? I finished mine, grab something else for yourself if you want"

"Sure"

Fami thanked you and kissed your cheek as you went away from the table. yoru sighed, thankful that she didn't have to fake being nice anymore

"I still can't believe you-"

"Hey war, listen to me"

The youngest horseman suddenly tensed even more at her sister's tone. She always sounded emotionless and cold, but this time, there was something more to her voice, something that made yoru feel inexplicably nervous

"I already told you I'd do anything for you, but there's an exception"

Fami gulped down the last of her food and looked at her even more coldly

"If you hurt y/n in any way, I will kill you"

Both yoru and even asa from inside her body were so shocked by her sentence that they started sweating simultaneously

"The love I feel for him is much greater than any sisterly bond I may have with you, I love y/n more than anything, even more than food, and I don't tolerate anything happening to him, the fact that you're my sister doesn't change anything. Do you understand?"

"W-what the why are you-"

"Do you understand, war?"

Fami was now practically killing yoru with her glare, even asa felt herself tensing up as she continued staring at them with an unblinking cold stare

".........y-yes"

"Good, as long as you understand that we shouldn't have any problems"

".........w-were you scared by your sister?"

"S-shut up its not like that"

As yoru and asa continued arguing with themselves, you came back to the table with the plates, fami kissed you again as thanks, and you continued chatting

"Sorry yoru, maybe we started on the wrong foot. I don't care if you're possessing asa and I won't tell anyone, I am dating a devil after all, I just hope we can get along"

"I'm sure you will.......right war?"

".....y-yeah"

Meanwhile asa is giggling inside her head because it's funny seeing yoru scared for a change

[plusvanity]

What brought your attention to Mayhem? Do they have a special place in your life or not that much outside of your writings?

Yes, but not in the typical way.

It all started back in high-school with me following the classic metalhead depression decline from glam to death to thrash to black to the graveyard. That's when my mates and I discovered Mayhem, Burzum and Emperor and we decided that it was high time to start a cover band.

I've never really been a fan of Mayhem as a band and until I made friends online, I literally didn't know anyone who liked Mayhem for real. What drew me to them (and probably what drew others too) was their tumultuous history.

I remember I had a friend who was such a geek. He knew every random trivia you could ask him about any fucking band and he was the first to tell me and the rest of the guys about this insane band he found. (Mayhem). Nobody paid any attention to him rambling but I retained the name of 'Euronymous', it was a cool name, and that somebody killed somebody and somebody died and got stabbed and whatever. It was later that year that I really got into the Mayhem lore and their crazy story.

'Freezing Moon' was the first black metal song that I've learned on guitar and played live in my hometown's little rock pub. That song holds a lot of significance to me, even to this day.

I think that black metal influenced me both for the better and for the worst. I got more and more depressed and angry (for personal reasons) and I found comfort in this genre. The most influential band was Burzum because of those angry chainsaw-like riffs that I could never find anywhere else. They fit perfectly over what I was feeling inside at that time.

I've always felt compassion for Pelle and Øystein and I could relate to Pelle because of my own s******l ideation, ED, and SH behaviour. I was really considering the 'easy way out', so to speak.

I guess there are many factors beyond how Mayhem's sound that made them memorable for me.

This is the second time I get interested in them after years of forgetting about them entirely. Almost two years ago, I hit rock bottom again and I rediscovered the hopelessness and tragedy that I used to relate so much. Now I use fiction to express myself, I didn't have that back then.

Truth be told, it it wasn't for the black metal and for some quite interesting jokes that someone was teasing me with, I would have never discovered so much about myself and why I am the way I am, so, Mayhem was the start of something much bigger than I thought.

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

audrey redheart wandersong drives me so insane it’s sickening. i make myself sick thinking about that freak. and i could talk about the obvious stuff- like how she wanted to be a hero to be revered and by the end of the game no one even thinks about her anymore- but i’m going deeper than that.

audrey was a bad hero. not because she’s immoral (even though she is) and not because she’s self centered (even though she is). but she straight up does not have the necessary skills for the task at hand.

audrey can’t speak the shapes-and-colors language of the overseers. granted, kiwi couldn’t either, at first, but that was easily resolved by an overseer, and eyala probably could have done the same thing, too. miriam canonically studied and learned the language just like anyone else would learn any other language.

but audrey doesn’t know it. whatever the overseers say is just colorful nonsense to her… you would think it would be pretty helpful to a heroic quest to be able to understand the language of your opponents.

but if you’re not supposed to know what you’re doing, it makes sense not to be able to glean any context from the ‘monsters’ you’re killing, doesn’t it?

audrey’s meant to be a high society big shot, but she can’t even recognize what a potion of power is supposed to look like?

kiwi sees her as a cold blooded killer, but when she’s deprived of her sword, she can’t even improvise?

audrey skips over overseers (like going to the queen of winds after chapter 3, when for all intents and purposes it’d be easier to do them in the same order kiwi’s doing them in), and the more you think about it, it really does seem like she was barred from encountering the overseers at all until kiwi freed up the nexus point first.

if audrey was a hero- The Hero- shouldn’t she have been able to do that herself??

audrey isn’t a hero. or, at least, she wasn’t chosen to be a hero. because if a hero was chosen, things wouldn’t have gone to plan. they would have stopped.

audrey didn’t have to be a hero. she just had to be isolated, cynical, desperate for attention, and obedient enough to follow orders without asking questions.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

TL;DR: I won’t be answering any further asks about the NGL situation over on Twitter.

Apologies to those who have sent in asks about the recent “fandom drama”, I am not snubbing you or meaning to be rude. I just don’t really want to give any further attention to a situation that is so trivial, especially when it is occurring on a platform that I am inactive on.

This blog turned two yesterday, and it prompted some introspection from me regarding what I want from this space, and how I continue moving forward.

I’ve been involved in my fair share of altercations in fandom, and have been making a conscious effort to make more mindful choices with regards to my behaviour, and actively avoid anything that disturbs my peace or anyone else’s.

I feel like yesterday was a huge step back for me in terms of progress. Yes, I can have an opinion about a situation, but it’s beneath me to express that so publicly, especially when it’s a topic that is so childish and inconsequential. That’s embarrassing, and I am sorry to anyone who read through those asks and felt uncomfortable. It’s something I have sat with, and will endeavour not to repeat. Progress isn’t linear, so I am not going to dwell, but will continue to push ahead.

I have been strongly considering abandoning or deactivating ewanmitchellcrumbs, not for anything to do with the above, but because I have been struggling to see how I fit in the landscape of fandom as it currently is.

But I think that in itself is the issue; I concern myself with how others feel about me, and this blog - my blog - has become more about providing a service for others than it has about my own enjoyment.

Moving forward, I want to return to my roots of being a silly, little blog that shares Ewan updates. I want to fall back in love with the process of writing, and get excited about sharing fics again.

I want my blog to feel like a fun place for me to hang out, and by extension, hopefully that vibe will radiate to other people. With that in mind, I won’t be entertaining any further asks that allude to drama of any kind. Hate anons and nasty words will be blocked on sight.

I hope you can all be supportive of that. Fandom should be fun, no one deserves to come away from something that ought to be a hobby feeling stressed, upset and anxious.

Onto more positive things for all of us 💕

[obeymefanfiction]

Beel: I Miss You

Obey Me! Fanfiction (Aug 2020) Masterlist Featuring: Beelzebub x Reader Word Count: 900 Disclaimer: Obey Me! Characters are the rightful property of Solemare. Warnings: Fluff/Angst, with allusions to depression.

The knock at the door pulled you back to reality. Your eyes were still stinging and sore from crying and you were tempted to put on sunglasses before you answered. What if it was just some poor delivery person who had the wrong door? You hadn’t ordered anything recently anyway… you’d only been back in the human realm for about a week and the things you brought with you were more than sufficient for your needs. Also, it was hard to… well want to.

It was hard to do anything really. This aching loneliness in your chest just wouldn’t leave you alone. It felt like your heart was starving to death and it didn’t make any sense because technically you were “home” now. This was where you belonged… but it wasn’t. Not anymore. You sighed and ran a hand through your hair blinking a few times in hopes of clearing some of the redness from your eyes. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that your time in the devildom had changed so much about you. It changed your favorite music, your favorite food, your favorite games… all the things you once loved just seemed to pale in comparison. Especially when it came to… You opened the door before you could fall into the endless pit that always engulfed you when you were thinking about him. The brightness of the light from outside—so unlike the devildom—made you squint uncertainly at the person standing at the door. When your tired eyes focused, however, and you saw that vibrant hair—those amethyst eyes—and his uncertain smile? You forgot to breath. “I brought you your favorite.” The tall broad-shouldered demon held out the bag to you. A familiar blush made his cheeks appear especially ruddy in the sunlight. “I know I’m not supposed to come see you, but… I couldn’t bring myself to eat it without you because it made me miss you too much.” You managed to take an unsteady breath but when you tried to speak nothing came out. Beelzebub was here? He came… here? “I’m sorry it just… hurts to be away from you like this _. I’ll let Lucifer string me up or whatever as a consequence. I just couldn’t keep missing you! So, I brought you dinner.” He looked like a puppy that expected to be scolded, so when you threw your arms around his neck and held on with all your strength it took him a moment before he hugged you back. “I missed you too Beel.” When the bag of food hit the ground by your feet you looked up in surprise. You barely registered his expression before his mouth crashed into yours. One large hand mover to cradle the back of your head with a familiar gentleness. His kiss was so hungry, however, that it felt as though you would become his next meal. The intensity of his affection had always been slightly restrained before now. As though he was holding back for fear of hurting you. At times it made you wonder if he felt as strongly toward you as you felt toward him. The sweet tender kisses he had always given you before now—even the gentle caress of his hand on you face—they were always so careful. Yet this separation seemed to have broken through Beel’s control. He kissed you so hard it almost hurt. Held you so close it was difficult to breathe. Yet, you simply kissed him back. Unleashing the intensity of your own feelings. You held him back as though he were your only lifeline. Your anchor to safety and happiness and anything else you could dream of wanting. When he pulled back to let you catch your breath you almost panicked. “Don’t let go!” The words came out before you could even think what they’d sound like. Still, the way he looked at you made your embarrassment obsolete. “I couldn’t if I wanted to.” He admitted, kissing you gently on the forehead. “Do you mind if I come inside your… what is this place? It’s so tiny?” He asked scrutinizing your doorway as though it were some kind of cave. You laughed a little and couldn’t resist hugging him again. “It’s certainly not home is it? But yes, we can eat inside.” You smiled up at him. “Thank you for bringing me dinner.” “It might be a little more tossed than usual now.” He blushed reaching down to pick up the bag he dropped on the ground. “I promise I don’t mind.” “Then you’d better lead the way before I start kissing you again.” He sighed. “Because tossed and cold isn’t the kind of food I wanted to bring you.”

[pjowasmy1stfandom]

Okay, first off. THANK YOU SO MUCH for noticing the little details I put in. Even ones I hadn't consciously noticed!!

Some of these shots I had planned since the beginning and others were cause I needed a good transition or bc they came to me partway through. The book going to the TV report was one planned from the beginning, especially because, in the beginning, all Techno really wanted from life was to become one of the legendary authors. Now, he wants to stay out of the public eye as much as possible. (I'm not saying it's impossible for him to want, or even have, both things, but it'll certainly be difficult)

I was really hoping the viewer would be able to tell who the three shadows were. Phil I wasn't worried about, but the Piglins were basically just people without super distinctive silhouettes beyond 'there's two of them and Techno's been hallucinating them too' so I just hoped the silhouettes would be enough. Also part of me wanted to put the Wither in somewhere, but 1) I couldn't figure out how to add her exactly in a way that would make sense bc 2) I honestly couldn't remember if he hallucinated her or not because 3) Strangely enough, getting kidnapped by the Nether wasn't Techno's highest paranoia problem, haha

And yess, the fact that Phil won't stop showing Techno love, even when Techno's straight up hallucinating him is another one of the scenes that I daydreamed and instantly went 'yes, this is happening'. Hands are HARD, but it was worth it. Honestly, that third scene, right before it switches to Phil's face, is probably one of my absolute favorites.

I also really like the head jerk, Techno is just done with Phil and his love.

I wanted to do a whole spin sequence with the 'panicking again, dancing with adrenaline', as Techno did the whole running his bloody hands through his hair, to kinda have it be like everything's spinning out of Techno's control, but that was too hard for me to figure out when I got to that point and I didn't want to fight my brain, so I just did the swivel with Techno yelling instead.

Aaaaaa YESSSSS my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PART OF THIS WHOLE THING. The hair flip is amazing and awesome. I kinda wanted the colors to be slightly closer, so it'd be more like the blood is staining Techno's hair as he's desperately trying to keep his personal identity to what he's made himself to be (rather than mold his entire way of thinking to what Phil wants or to what the Wither wants or to what anyone else wants). But yeah, the running his hands through his hair with stress and panic (I do it as a person with long hair, so it made sense. Also, I actually used myself as a perspective model for some of the shots to get angles right and such. Especially bc I have long hair, so I could figure out how his hair would fall) and the just kinda staring at his hands in shock and horror before looking up at Phil... Yessss

The eye shots were one of those transitions I just kinda did bc why not, honestly. I needed something more between the hair flip and Phil, but I wasn't sure what. Then my brain gave me this and went, 'you gotta' and refused to give me any explanation why it worked. I wasn't really sure why until you pointed it out. Yess, it'd be because he's seeing blood everywhere... (Also the fact that other versions of him are literally called Blood God...)

Fun fact, I was actually planning on having Phil have the blood-stained hands the whole time, but I didn't like it, it was too.... Mmm, stationary, I think? It wasn't interesting enough. So I changed it so he was just an ominous shadow standing guard until the last scene, where he reaches out to Techno with bloody outstretched hands, like he's waiting for Techno to run into his waiting arms

Do you think the minimal color pallette's good or would it be better in color? I went with it bc I was trying to see if it would affect my drawing/perfectionism, but in color would probably be cool too. It'd definitely take away from the dramatic hair flip scene though.

Anyway, happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate, and hope your probably semi-normal day goes especially well if you don't!

@nomsfaultau Here it is!! Voices In My Head, one of the songs that has joined my MFR playlist

I'm actually incredibly proud of this. I tried a new brush to try and combat my perfectionism and I think it worked, considering that this is done. I'm not super happy with some of the shots, but I think overall it looks alright!

Let me know what your favorite parts are!

[adhdandcomics]

perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:

does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies

[bixels]

While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.

Bye.

[i-really-like-phrogs]

When someone else’s art is so good you physically can’t look at it because of artistic jealousy

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Just popping in to say i LOVE UR ART SO MUCH WAUGH!!!! Its soooooooo exoressive and u get across emotion and movement SO WELL!! I love ...littlr apple ...so much.....u imbue this donkey with Such Chaos

I love this little chaos creature, we should all forfeit our mortal possessions to her.